So we made two stops this weekend.
Now remember, today is only the 8th of July, so we’re talking about the 5th and 6th.
The first stop was Wal-Mart, where we had to get my son’s glasses adjusted. If you didn’t know, glasses are a horrible invention for an 8 year old. Sure, they help with things like vision and headaches and concentration at school, but really, with all of our amazing technology and the most recent breakthroughs in alloys and engineering, can’t we come up with something a bit more durable?
An eight year old should never be trusted with something that costs upwards of $100 and goes on their face. Have you seen an eight year old? They are walking catastrophes. Mine in particular, thinks that using his head means banging the door open with his cranium. The boy is a walking tornado, and by the time he gets to be a teenager we will own our own wing at the local hospital.
Anyway, we walked into the eyeglass showroom. I turned around to glance back into the store and noticed this:
Really? It’s June, dude. I mean I’m excited for fall. I love fall. It is my favorite time of year. This year I am even planning the obligatory Halloween countdown on this site. But seriously, are you trying to get me to put my kids on Prozac? Thoughts of returning to the cranium grinder house in the midst of summer freedom is enough to put any child into specialized therapy sessions with a psychiatrist named Dr. Gugemsquirtz.
If that wasn’t bad enough, I visited my local Kroger store right afterwards, and saw this:
Can you see the clearance 4th of July stuff getting kicked out on its patriotic little hiney to make room for the opposite of Independence? Cheese-Louise, this is getting out of hand. If we are not gonna have fall leaves yet, don’t give my kids heart palpitations by making them remember that this season of humid freedom will not last indefinitely. They should still be thinking about catching snakes, and building a treehouse, and jumpin’ into the ol’ swimmin’ hole.
I was just at Target and saw this:
The worker bees are buzzing along, getting everything ready to crush as many school kid dreams as possible in a Tidal Wave of red, white, and #2 pencil.