Did Monster’s University Rip Off Monty Python?

Have you seen Monsters University?

I did.

I thought it was a pretty good flick. I liked the college setting, and I would be lying if I told you it didn’t give me a nostalgic tickle or two, reminding me of glory days and gory days. As I watched the flick in a theater crowded with children and merriment, there was something about it that made me uneasy. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but for some reason I kept picturing a fat man vomiting in a four star restaurant, a man being chased off a cliff by buxom beauties, and Catholics dancing on a cobblestone street.

Then it hit me.

*Warning, this could be very disturbing to the easily impressionable and those with good taste.*

Monsters University ripped their anthem off of Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life.

I am serious . . . and seriously disturbed by this, and I am wondering what kind of monstrous group would insert such subliminal programming into their “kids” flick in order to attempt to manipulating them in order to forgo birth control and overpopulate this great planet of ours?

Oh yes, it is that insidious.

Let me show you what I mean:

Ok. So that was the Monster’s U anthem. Delightful, no? I mean it certainly sounds innocent and legit. The problem is that it completely rips off “Every Sperm Is Sacred” from Monty Python’s Meaning of Life. Check out what I mean at the :56 mark. (seriously, go straight there or this entire post will make no sense)

I know, right? Shocking.

Now listen to them both again. No, your ears are not deceiving you. They truly ripped off Python. What kind of world do we live in, anyway. Graham Chapman would be rolling over in his grave.

Think twice before submitting your child to this torture…

 

What The What?

So we made two stops this weekend.

Now remember, today is only the 8th of July, so we’re talking about the 5th and 6th.

The first stop was Wal-Mart, where we had to get my son’s glasses adjusted. If you didn’t know, glasses are a horrible invention for an 8 year old. Sure, they help with things like vision and headaches and concentration at school, but really, with all of our amazing technology and the most recent breakthroughs in alloys and engineering, can’t we come up with something a bit more durable?

An eight year old should never be trusted with something that costs upwards of $100 and goes on their face. Have you seen an eight year old? They are walking catastrophes. Mine in particular, thinks that using his head means banging the door open with his cranium. The boy is a walking tornado, and by the time he gets to be a teenager we will own our own wing at the local hospital.

Anyway, we walked into the eyeglass showroom. I turned around to glance back into the store and noticed this:

IMG_4093

Continue reading

What’s Summer Without A Night At The Drive-In?

IMG_4057

This weekend we went to the Drive-In.

I love the Drive-In. I can remember going as a kid. My parents would load us up in their lime green station wagon with the wood paneling. We would fill the car up with  junk food, blankets, lawn chairs and drinks, and go see movies like: The Black Hole, Howard the Duck, and The Ice Pirates.

I remember sneaking into the back seat and pretending to go to sleep so I could watch Friday the 13th Part 4 through the hatch-back windows of the wagon, peering over the hoods of hundreds of dark cars, ducking as Jason stalked his victims through the rainy forest.

I never realized what went on in the back seats of the other cars around me, or how many teenage boys were using Mr. Vorhees as the perfect excuse for a little cuddle-action. I wasn’t interested in any kind of  voyeurism other than the kind on the screen – well, that’s not entirely true, but this post isn’t about that kind of stuff, now is it?

There was always something magical about the yellow and green lights of the Drive-In, like something out of the world’s most magnificent putt-putt park. Cars line up in rows, with those little silver speakers hanging on poles.

Continue reading

Twinkie Festival in Emporia, Kansas!

You may not know this, but the Hostess brand got its start in Kansas. That’s right, Dorothy probably ate Twinkies.

Emporia, Kansas used to be one of the Mid-West’s main Twinkie producers. Hungry snackers from the great plains, Texas, Missouri, and even a stoner or two from Denver used to sate their munchies, dining on sponge cake and creamy filling that flowed from the Sunflower State.

As you know – if you are any kind of foodie, children of the 80’s, fan of junkfood, or recreational drug user – Twinkies have not been around since November of 2012, due to the bankruptcy of Hostess.

But now, all the snackers of the world can unite to celebrate because the Hostess plant in Emporia is back up and about to go online. The investment group who purchased Twinkies, Ding Dongs, and other assorted snack cakes with naughty names have assured the good people of the State of Kansas that Emporia is their flagship bakery. Emporia will be one of the main (and as far as I can ascertain: first) breadbaskets of the humble Twinkie for the entire nation.

In celebration of this momentous occasion, Emporia decided to do the coolest thing ever.

Behold!:

Oh yeah. Man I wish I could go to this event. Can you imagine anything more cool than a guy in a Twinkie costume, who just won the Twinkie eating contest, singing an original “Welcome Back Twinkie” ditty, strumming on his Twinkie-shaped ukulele?

What could the Twinkies Shake Dance possibly be? I want to learn it, doggon it!

If any of you out there are in Kansas, and going to this thing, you gotta send me some pics and a complete report.

I love Twinkies, and have sorely missed them. Let’s be honest, Uncle Julio’s Creamy Spongecake just isn’t the real thing, folks.

I already know what costume I would wear.

Sigh.