Oreo Cake

So, one of my favorite summer time desserts was when my mom would make Oreo Cake.

Now, the name is a bit of a misnomer, for while it does have plenty of Oreos, it is not a cake, other than in the same way a cheesecake is a cake.

Nevertheless, it tastes like being a kid, so I don’t care if it is a cake, pie, frozen confection, or ice cream. All I care about is putting a delicious spoonful in my mouth.

“But wait, Deigh,” you might be saying. “You can just get the same experience with Cookies N Cream ice cream!”

“Au contraire, mon frère,”* is what I respond.

It is nothing like cookies and cream ice cream… other than the fact that it has cookies and iced cream and…

Dang it, it does kind of sound like cookies and cream ice cream, but trust me, it is sooo much better.

To make this delicious delicacy of decadent delight, you need top quality ingredients.

Now, as soon as I say, “Oreos”, some of you are gonna say, “Why not Hydrox or Kroger Store brand sandwich cookies?”

My response to this is: Shut your face. In no universe does Hydrox taste like Oreos. Stop fooling yourself. I know they are cheaper, but so is London Broil, and only psychopaths prefer that over fillet.

Spring for the fillet.

You’ll be glad you did.

So, you only need three ingredients for this amazing concoction.

1.) A package of Oreos. Just a regular package of plain Oreos will do just fine.

2.) A half pint of vanilla ice cream. Generic is fine. Breyer’s is better. Blue Bell is amazing. If you really want to go nuts, make some of your own home made ice cream. That recipe can be found here: https://nostalgicdaydream.wordpress.com/2012/07/05/3-amazing-recipes-from-my-youth-4/

3.) A regular container of Cool Whip. Once again, brand matters. Just say, “no’, to generic Cool Whip and don’t even think about using the junk in the can…

Oh, and you also need as good mixer. I am using a KitchenAid because I am a snob. And now you are laughing at me because you can plainly see I bought Kroger brand vanilla ice cream.

Hey, what can I say? I’m a snob on a budget?

Besides, I did spring for the Deluxe…

So, now you take your Oreos and you put them in a gallon-sized freezer bag.

Then you take a rolling pin and beat the tar out of them. I mean, really pulverize them. Turn them into chunky powder.

Now, you do want a few big chunks so that you will have some crunch in your cream.

Then you put your crushed Oreos into your mixing bowl.

In the meantime, make sure your ice cream is good and soft…

And your Cool Whip is not frozen.

Then add both those bad boys to your mixer.

Then just mix the tar out of it. Make sure it is good and incorporated.

Once it is all mixed together, find yourself a nice glass casserole dish. Size doesn’t matter, but the thicker it is, the longer it takes to harden…

Then you just freeze your “cake” for about 3 hours, and wallah! You have a delicious summer dessert that will have your taste buds flippin’ and your hips a wigglin’ with a happy dance of gastronomic ecstacy!

Once you are finished, you can even lick the bowl because all the ingredients are edible!

Here’s the thing, you don’t even have to like Oreos in order to love this dessert. In fact, my kids hate Oreos, even the lovely Orange Halloween ones. I’m not even really sure these are my kids, but I digress…

But they love this stuff. I have to make a double batch because it disappears so fast, and let me tell you, brother or sister, this stuff ain’t cheap.

But, it is worth it. It is the taste of summer sun and hide and seek and lazy days and neighborhood pools and Saturday morning cartoons and I love it.

I hope you do, too…

* I’m pretty sure that mon frère is French for: My Righteous Dudes and Dudettes, but I could be mistaken.

Deigh is Super Excited About Twinkies Being Back!

Today I was plodding through my local Walmart when I saw perhaps the most amazing gift that mankind has received in the last four years: golden sponge cake, sweet white cream, three ivory puncture holes, all wrapped in crinkly cellophane.

That’s right, friends and neighbors, I present to you the Sweetest Comeback in the History of Ever:

IMG_4221

Twinkies are childhood. I can’t even tell you the first time I tasted a Twinkie, but I cannot remember a time without them. I’ve had them fresh, slightly stale, warm, cold, frozen, deep-fat-fried. I even did this once:

Sometimes, when I would come home after school and the bullies had hit me and the teachers had been mean, my mummy would be right there with a fresh Twinkie and a cup of grape Kool-Aid.

Continue reading

New Soda From Pennsylvania – Frozen Run Review Along With An Accidental Candy Cigarette Retrospective

The last time I was in a play was at a local community theater, in a small suburb of the town that I lived in and we had rehearsals three nights a week. Nearby was a local mom and pop gas station that sold the original Necco candy cigarettes.

I loved these things! I would run over there before rehearsals and stock up. Then I would sit around like a cool kid and suck on the white stick with the pink tip, and my lungs had absolutely no damage. I must have cleared out their entire stock of goods during the three weeks of rehearsals and the four week run of the show.

Now there are many brands of candy cigarettes – more than you might realize unless you are a true candy cigarette aficionado like myself.

Unfortunately, most of these taste like you went to an old, abandoned elementary school, broke out a ground floor window, climbed through, made your way through all the mice and spiderwebs to one of the chalkboards on the far wall of the classroom, and found an old broken piece of Dixon Waltham chalk and stuck it in your mouth.

Oh, but not  Necco candy cigarettes. It’s not the shape, or the idea of edible cigarettes. I don’t like to pretend like I am Nick Nolte from Cape Fear, puffing away at hard sugar like a hefty kid with a Pixie Stick.

To me, it doesn’t really matter if you call them candy stix, candy cigarettes, or candy heroin pipettes. I just like the taste. It’s a kind of a mellow peppermint that is both simple, yet luxurious, and as a bonus, there was always that little pink dot on the end to break up the monotony. Yes, I realize that the dot was there to symbolize the cherry, but it just kind of made  the sticks seem . . . I don’t know . . . cooler . . .

If that wasn’t awesome enough, Necco also perfected the smooth texture. These sticks did not have the crumbly, chalky instability of the “other” brands. These were firm candy sticks with just the right crunchiness to them.

The original Necco Stix or Cigarettes, or whatever had cool names like: Dinosaur, Supersonic, and Hawk and looked like this:

Dinosaurs candy stix

Continue reading

A Day With Nothing To Do, But Eat Cookies . . .

So, yesterday was kind of a miracle. Other than a financing meeting for one of our producers, and a bit of clean up for one of our scripts, I had the day free.

Wow.

Seriously, this was like the first time I have had a free day in like, six or seven weeks.

I wasn’t sure what to do with myself.

So, I did the only logical thing . . . I watched movies all day, and made a big batch of chocolate chip cookies.

See: https://nostalgicdaydream.wordpress.com/2012/07/05/3-amazing-recipes-from-my-youth-4/

image

It was magical. Normally, I run out of chips with this batch. But these ones were chock full of chocolatey goodness.

Anyway, I just want to encourage you to try this recipe. You’ll like it.

I also saw The Amazing Spiderman, yesterday. Review is coming.

I GOT MY LIME ICEE!

SO I had to run to Target today. OK, not really. I just wanted to.

I wanted that Lime Icee, darnit, and I was gonna get one. I made up some lame excuse to my wife about picking up some medicine or some other such nonsense, and then hopped in my car and drove to . . . THE OTHER SIDE OF TOWN (dun dun dun).

And there, at the snack bar, in all its pristine red, white, and blue glory was the ICEE MACHINE, with four flavors gleaming under the florescent glare of the fixtures above. Only one flavor caught my eye – Sublime.

image

Now, two things threw me off my game a little bit.

Number one, the Icee that I remember was just called LIME, nothing fancy or hoity-toity (yes, that is how you spell it. I Googled it). This was Sublime. Could there be a difference? Just what did the sub add to my lime?

But it did appear to be the right color, and I had gone to far to turn back, now.

image

Numero dose, the stupid flashing red defrost light was on.

I hate that light.

Many a possible refreshing, frosty Icee encounter has been thawed due to the annoyance of there being absolutely no schedule by which these lights appear.

Don’t you think it would make sense to say that, oh, I don’t know, maybe every afternoon at 4:23 on the dot, we will defrost this machine, so don’t come around here expecting an Icee at 4:24, bub, these things take 25 minutes or more to go through their cycle?

Instead, there is absolutely no rhyme or reason that these things decide to defrost. I have asked every Icee clerk in town to tell me when their machine would defrost. Do you know how many were able to tell me?

That’s right. None. Zero. Natta.

image

Of course, this time, my enrapture of finding my lost childhood summer love impaired my vision. I decided to go for it, anyway. . .

Which is why I ended up with a foamy soup in my cup, a sticky arm, and a mop in my hand, cleaning Target’s snack bar floor for free.

Twenty minutes later, the red light finally went off.

image

Success!

With a trembling hand I lifted the plastic red straw to my mouth.

I took a deep breath, and a light sip.

The sensation of cold and sweet lept onto my pallet like a really sweet, really cold thing that leaps. As the taste of lime filled me to the brim, Icouldn’t help but ask myself if this flavor had tasted so creamy and delicious eight years ago. The answer was: heck freakin’ yes!

Thank you, Target.

See you tomorrow.