Holy crap! The family and I went out to one of those “Japanese” cook-at-your-table places for dinner. I’ve been trying to cut back on the ol’ soda, so I was only going to order water to drink. That is, until I saw the mugs.
Are you kidding me? A phallical Buddha drinking mug? There’s no way I couldn’t indulge! Look at his arms. He’s ready for anything. He’s saying, “have your way.”
Look at the smile on his face. I’ve never seen anyone so jovial to have a hollow tube penetrating their abdomen. He’s just inviting you to suck him dry. The angle in which you behold changes the overall meaning of your beverage vessel.
The best part is, you get to keep the friggin’ mug! Oh, yeah, baby. This sucker’s going on my mantle. I want to share this gift with every single person that comes by our place. I can’t wait to mix up my own juice, pull out a straw, and watch my company’s face light up in unadulterated glee.
Today I was plodding through my local Walmart when I saw perhaps the most amazing gift that mankind has received in the last four years: golden sponge cake, sweet white cream, three ivory puncture holes, all wrapped in crinkly cellophane.
That’s right, friends and neighbors, I present to you the Sweetest Comeback in the History of Ever:
Twinkies are childhood. I can’t even tell you the first time I tasted a Twinkie, but I cannot remember a time without them. I’ve had them fresh, slightly stale, warm, cold, frozen, deep-fat-fried. I even did this once:
Sometimes, when I would come home after school and the bullies had hit me and the teachers had been mean, my mummy would be right there with a fresh Twinkie and a cup of grape Kool-Aid.
Yes, they really make something this cool. . .
Can you believe this?
One thing I love about road trips is the chance to sample local cuisine and libation. Recently, we were on a road trip, driving through Pennsylvania and stopped to fill up the ol’ Family Truckster. I walked into the gas station, parched, sweaty, and ready for a refreshing beverage, when I saw this:
Now I don’t know about you, but I am a pretty big fan of the Choco Taco.