Oreo Cake

So, one of my favorite summer time desserts was when my mom would make Oreo Cake.

Now, the name is a bit of a misnomer, for while it does have plenty of Oreos, it is not a cake, other than in the same way a cheesecake is a cake.

Nevertheless, it tastes like being a kid, so I don’t care if it is a cake, pie, frozen confection, or ice cream. All I care about is putting a delicious spoonful in my mouth.

“But wait, Deigh,” you might be saying. “You can just get the same experience with Cookies N Cream ice cream!”

“Au contraire, mon frère,”* is what I respond.

It is nothing like cookies and cream ice cream… other than the fact that it has cookies and iced cream and…

Dang it, it does kind of sound like cookies and cream ice cream, but trust me, it is sooo much better.

To make this delicious delicacy of decadent delight, you need top quality ingredients.

Now, as soon as I say, “Oreos”, some of you are gonna say, “Why not Hydrox or Kroger Store brand sandwich cookies?”

My response to this is: Shut your face. In no universe does Hydrox taste like Oreos. Stop fooling yourself. I know they are cheaper, but so is London Broil, and only psychopaths prefer that over fillet.

Spring for the fillet.

You’ll be glad you did.

So, you only need three ingredients for this amazing concoction.

1.) A package of Oreos. Just a regular package of plain Oreos will do just fine.

2.) A half pint of vanilla ice cream. Generic is fine. Breyer’s is better. Blue Bell is amazing. If you really want to go nuts, make some of your own home made ice cream. That recipe can be found here: https://nostalgicdaydream.wordpress.com/2012/07/05/3-amazing-recipes-from-my-youth-4/

3.) A regular container of Cool Whip. Once again, brand matters. Just say, “no’, to generic Cool Whip and don’t even think about using the junk in the can…

Oh, and you also need as good mixer. I am using a KitchenAid because I am a snob. And now you are laughing at me because you can plainly see I bought Kroger brand vanilla ice cream.

Hey, what can I say? I’m a snob on a budget?

Besides, I did spring for the Deluxe…

So, now you take your Oreos and you put them in a gallon-sized freezer bag.

Then you take a rolling pin and beat the tar out of them. I mean, really pulverize them. Turn them into chunky powder.

Now, you do want a few big chunks so that you will have some crunch in your cream.

Then you put your crushed Oreos into your mixing bowl.

In the meantime, make sure your ice cream is good and soft…

And your Cool Whip is not frozen.

Then add both those bad boys to your mixer.

Then just mix the tar out of it. Make sure it is good and incorporated.

Once it is all mixed together, find yourself a nice glass casserole dish. Size doesn’t matter, but the thicker it is, the longer it takes to harden…

Then you just freeze your “cake” for about 3 hours, and wallah! You have a delicious summer dessert that will have your taste buds flippin’ and your hips a wigglin’ with a happy dance of gastronomic ecstacy!

Once you are finished, you can even lick the bowl because all the ingredients are edible!

Here’s the thing, you don’t even have to like Oreos in order to love this dessert. In fact, my kids hate Oreos, even the lovely Orange Halloween ones. I’m not even really sure these are my kids, but I digress…

But they love this stuff. I have to make a double batch because it disappears so fast, and let me tell you, brother or sister, this stuff ain’t cheap.

But, it is worth it. It is the taste of summer sun and hide and seek and lazy days and neighborhood pools and Saturday morning cartoons and I love it.

I hope you do, too…

* I’m pretty sure that mon frère is French for: My Righteous Dudes and Dudettes, but I could be mistaken.

Drinking Out Of Buddha

Holy crap! The family and I went out to one of those “Japanese” cook-at-your-table places for dinner. I’ve been trying to cut back on the ol’ soda, so I was only going to order water to drink. That is, until I saw the mugs.

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Are you kidding me? A phallical Buddha drinking mug? There’s no way I couldn’t indulge! Look at his arms. He’s ready for anything. He’s saying, “have your way.”

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Look at the smile on his face. I’ve never seen anyone so jovial to have a hollow tube penetrating their abdomen. He’s just inviting you to suck him dry. The angle in which you behold changes the overall meaning of your beverage vessel.

The best part is, you get to keep the friggin’ mug! Oh, yeah, baby. This sucker’s going on my mantle. I want to share this gift with every single person that comes by our place. I can’t wait to mix up my own juice, pull out a straw, and watch my company’s face light up in unadulterated glee.
Holy crap!

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Deigh is Super Excited About Twinkies Being Back!

Today I was plodding through my local Walmart when I saw perhaps the most amazing gift that mankind has received in the last four years: golden sponge cake, sweet white cream, three ivory puncture holes, all wrapped in crinkly cellophane.

That’s right, friends and neighbors, I present to you the Sweetest Comeback in the History of Ever:

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Twinkies are childhood. I can’t even tell you the first time I tasted a Twinkie, but I cannot remember a time without them. I’ve had them fresh, slightly stale, warm, cold, frozen, deep-fat-fried. I even did this once:

Sometimes, when I would come home after school and the bullies had hit me and the teachers had been mean, my mummy would be right there with a fresh Twinkie and a cup of grape Kool-Aid.

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New Beverages at a Pennsylvania Convenience Store

Yes, they really make something this cool. . .

Yes, they really make something this cool. . .

Can you believe this?

One thing I love about road trips is the chance to sample local cuisine and libation. Recently, we were on a road trip, driving through Pennsylvania and stopped to fill up the ol’ Family Truckster. I walked into the gas station, parched, sweaty, and ready for a refreshing beverage, when I saw this:

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Now I don’t know about you, but I am a pretty big fan of the Choco Taco.

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