Oreo Cake

So, one of my favorite summer time desserts was when my mom would make Oreo Cake.

Now, the name is a bit of a misnomer, for while it does have plenty of Oreos, it is not a cake, other than in the same way a cheesecake is a cake.

Nevertheless, it tastes like being a kid, so I don’t care if it is a cake, pie, frozen confection, or ice cream. All I care about is putting a delicious spoonful in my mouth.

“But wait, Deigh,” you might be saying. “You can just get the same experience with Cookies N Cream ice cream!”

“Au contraire, mon frère,”* is what I respond.

It is nothing like cookies and cream ice cream… other than the fact that it has cookies and iced cream and…

Dang it, it does kind of sound like cookies and cream ice cream, but trust me, it is sooo much better.

To make this delicious delicacy of decadent delight, you need top quality ingredients.

Now, as soon as I say, “Oreos”, some of you are gonna say, “Why not Hydrox or Kroger Store brand sandwich cookies?”

My response to this is: Shut your face. In no universe does Hydrox taste like Oreos. Stop fooling yourself. I know they are cheaper, but so is London Broil, and only psychopaths prefer that over fillet.

Spring for the fillet.

You’ll be glad you did.

So, you only need three ingredients for this amazing concoction.

1.) A package of Oreos. Just a regular package of plain Oreos will do just fine.

2.) A half pint of vanilla ice cream. Generic is fine. Breyer’s is better. Blue Bell is amazing. If you really want to go nuts, make some of your own home made ice cream. That recipe can be found here: https://nostalgicdaydream.wordpress.com/2012/07/05/3-amazing-recipes-from-my-youth-4/

3.) A regular container of Cool Whip. Once again, brand matters. Just say, “no’, to generic Cool Whip and don’t even think about using the junk in the can…

Oh, and you also need as good mixer. I am using a KitchenAid because I am a snob. And now you are laughing at me because you can plainly see I bought Kroger brand vanilla ice cream.

Hey, what can I say? I’m a snob on a budget?

Besides, I did spring for the Deluxe…

So, now you take your Oreos and you put them in a gallon-sized freezer bag.

Then you take a rolling pin and beat the tar out of them. I mean, really pulverize them. Turn them into chunky powder.

Now, you do want a few big chunks so that you will have some crunch in your cream.

Then you put your crushed Oreos into your mixing bowl.

In the meantime, make sure your ice cream is good and soft…

And your Cool Whip is not frozen.

Then add both those bad boys to your mixer.

Then just mix the tar out of it. Make sure it is good and incorporated.

Once it is all mixed together, find yourself a nice glass casserole dish. Size doesn’t matter, but the thicker it is, the longer it takes to harden…

Then you just freeze your “cake” for about 3 hours, and wallah! You have a delicious summer dessert that will have your taste buds flippin’ and your hips a wigglin’ with a happy dance of gastronomic ecstacy!

Once you are finished, you can even lick the bowl because all the ingredients are edible!

Here’s the thing, you don’t even have to like Oreos in order to love this dessert. In fact, my kids hate Oreos, even the lovely Orange Halloween ones. I’m not even really sure these are my kids, but I digress…

But they love this stuff. I have to make a double batch because it disappears so fast, and let me tell you, brother or sister, this stuff ain’t cheap.

But, it is worth it. It is the taste of summer sun and hide and seek and lazy days and neighborhood pools and Saturday morning cartoons and I love it.

I hope you do, too…

* I’m pretty sure that mon frère is French for: My Righteous Dudes and Dudettes, but I could be mistaken.

Fall Begins…In July?

I know it’s early. Hey, I hear ya! It’s not even the 4th of July yet, man. No, that’s tomorrow. Typically I don’t get into a fall mood until after the 5th. But this year, the weather has been fall-like, so I’ve been like, screw it. If I want to be in a Halloween/fall mood in July, so be it. So I went to Hobby Lobby and this is what I found, and I could be more unashamedly happy…

 

Happy fall, ya’ll!

Look What’s Back At Michael’s!

20140715-183725-67045428.jpg

I know it’s darn early, but I can’t help it. There’s something wrong with me. Every year at this time I have to wander Hobby Lobby and Michael’s and Party City, looking for the Halloween stuff. It really is some kind of illness, one that manifests itself in pumpkins, skeletons, and stupid childlike grins. And here we are, again. The season on witches is upon us and the trappings of said season are slowly infiltrating…. and I can’t stop grinning…
I know, it’s sick….

20140715-184141-67301514.jpg

20140715-184207-67327049.jpg

20140715-184303-67383533.jpg

20140715-184302-67382732.jpg

What The What?

So we made two stops this weekend.

Now remember, today is only the 8th of July, so we’re talking about the 5th and 6th.

The first stop was Wal-Mart, where we had to get my son’s glasses adjusted. If you didn’t know, glasses are a horrible invention for an 8 year old. Sure, they help with things like vision and headaches and concentration at school, but really, with all of our amazing technology and the most recent breakthroughs in alloys and engineering, can’t we come up with something a bit more durable?

An eight year old should never be trusted with something that costs upwards of $100 and goes on their face. Have you seen an eight year old? They are walking catastrophes. Mine in particular, thinks that using his head means banging the door open with his cranium. The boy is a walking tornado, and by the time he gets to be a teenager we will own our own wing at the local hospital.

Anyway, we walked into the eyeglass showroom. I turned around to glance back into the store and noticed this:

IMG_4093

Continue reading

Celebrating the 4th of July

So yesterday was the fourth.

I had meant to post this little ditty last night, but we didn’t get home until midnight and I had a really important meeting this morning, so I had to go straight to bed – after all, Deigh without his beauty sleep is an ugly sight to behold.

Unfortunately, my neighbors must not have realized that I wanted seven hours of good shuteye, because those jackwagons decided to shoot huge booming artillery shells off until about two in the morning. I tried putting a pillow over my head, sleeping in the closet, and finally shooting a warning shot out my back sliding door with my 12 gauge, but none of it worked. Finally, after I began pelting them with frozen balls of dog feces (don’t ask, don’t tell)  I fell into an irritated, restless sleep that led to dreams of Bea Arthur, some Nutella, and a collie named Beau.

But back to yesterday . . .

As per usual, the Misses and I hauled our little family over to my cousin’s house by the lake. There was boating, tubing, swimming, eating, drinking, and my cousin, Tommy. Let me tell you, after a few Midori melon bombs, that guy is really a hoot to be around, just keep him away from the sister-in-laws.

But the real attraction, and the reason we continue to go year after year is actually quite simple. You see, I like fireworks, but I hate spending $200 – $300 on something I am going to blow up. Luckily, my cousin is an attorney and most of his friends have money – money to burn – money to blow stuff up with. I swear these guys save up all year, and are literally dying to blow up $100 bills if given half the chance.

They come like pilgrims, bringing their offerings for the gods of BOOM!

Behold, the shrine of wonder.

Image

Continue reading