Deigh is Super Excited About Twinkies Being Back!

Today I was plodding through my local Walmart when I saw perhaps the most amazing gift that mankind has received in the last four years: golden sponge cake, sweet white cream, three ivory puncture holes, all wrapped in crinkly cellophane.

That’s right, friends and neighbors, I present to you the Sweetest Comeback in the History of Ever:

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Twinkies are childhood. I can’t even tell you the first time I tasted a Twinkie, but I cannot remember a time without them. I’ve had them fresh, slightly stale, warm, cold, frozen, deep-fat-fried. I even did this once:

Sometimes, when I would come home after school and the bullies had hit me and the teachers had been mean, my mummy would be right there with a fresh Twinkie and a cup of grape Kool-Aid.

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Saving Mr. Banks

When I first heard about this movie, I wasn’t sure what to think. I am dying to see a really good Walt Disney biopic. Disney is a personal hero of mine, an innovator, a dreamer, a magician. I have been fascinated by the way he was able to surround himself with the right talent to pull off his dreams. However, this trailer has allayed any fears.

While not a true biopic, this film centers around an extremely interesting story – the story about how Walt tried to acquire the rights to Mary Poppins from P.L. Travers, which was a fascinating exercise in patience and tenacity, because of Travers personal attachment to the book and her belief that it could never be translated into a decent film. Truth be told, the film has very little to do with the book (which is a somewhat bleak, pretentious, puffed up piece of prose).

Saving Mr Banks is a period film set in a time when Hollywood was a magical gem sparkling among the hills, and Walt Disney was its arguable king. I am thrilled to see the Sherman Brothers get some love, and the trailer below filled me with warm nostalgic glow that made  me excited and giddy to see this now.

Tom Hanks pulls off a great homage to Walt, and while it is still blatantly obvious that this is Hanks doing Disney, and not some possession by the very spirit of the man (like D.D. Lewis’ amazing transformation into Lincoln, Ifound myself getting lost in the performance a couple of times just in the three minutes of footage we’ve been granted.

Nothing says nostalgia like old Hollywood and Disney films, and Mary Poppins was a favorite of mine as a child. I can’t wait to see what the entire thing plays like. I am especially excited to see the Disneyland footage where they filmed in the park and brought out vintage characters. I wish I could have met the man and been part of his empire, and he continues to thrill, inspire, and motivate me even 50 years after his death.

Enjoy the trailer:

 

A Mom and Pop Circus is Coming to Town?

Recently, these began popping up all over near where I live.

IMG_4132Woah. What kind of crazy amazing joyful thing is this? I feel like I have gone back to the early 1900’s. For days I have scoured our local newspapers, searching diligently to see if there is going to be some kind of parade or event or something, but so far I have heard no boisterous barkers and read no hyperbolic news print.  There is literally no advertising for this thing other than telephone pole signs that kind of remind me of something out of Something Wicked This Way Comes:

The signs in my town are very basic and plain. There are no phone numbers, no prices, and no information. So, I decided to look these guys up, and this is what I found:

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Family-Fun-Circus/198889566797144

That looks cool. I don’t think I have ever actually been in an honest-to-goodness circus tent.

But apparently that is what they plan on erecting.

I am actually really excited to see what will go on under the big top. Will there be lions or tigers? Will there be the human cannonball? Will barkers sell me cotton candy, peanuts and popcorn? Will I see a monkey in a diaper?

In my mind’s eye, it looks something like this:

I am sure that in reality, it will be more like this (only without the talking animals – which would be really cool to see):

Anyhoo, I will plan on attending this event on Saturday evening with my two sons in tow, and bring a full report back. All for you, dear Reader, all for you . . .

What’s Summer Without A Night At The Drive-In?

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This weekend we went to the Drive-In.

I love the Drive-In. I can remember going as a kid. My parents would load us up in their lime green station wagon with the wood paneling. We would fill the car up with  junk food, blankets, lawn chairs and drinks, and go see movies like: The Black Hole, Howard the Duck, and The Ice Pirates.

I remember sneaking into the back seat and pretending to go to sleep so I could watch Friday the 13th Part 4 through the hatch-back windows of the wagon, peering over the hoods of hundreds of dark cars, ducking as Jason stalked his victims through the rainy forest.

I never realized what went on in the back seats of the other cars around me, or how many teenage boys were using Mr. Vorhees as the perfect excuse for a little cuddle-action. I wasn’t interested in any kind of  voyeurism other than the kind on the screen – well, that’s not entirely true, but this post isn’t about that kind of stuff, now is it?

There was always something magical about the yellow and green lights of the Drive-In, like something out of the world’s most magnificent putt-putt park. Cars line up in rows, with those little silver speakers hanging on poles.

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Did You Know That This Exists?

Visiting your local Cracker Barrel is always a treat. If you do not know what a Cracker Barrel is, or you do not have one near you, then I feel really badly for you. A Cracker Barrel is a treasure trove of kitsch and kitch. It is billed as an “Olde Country Store”. You can tell it is cool because of the extra “e” in Olde. You can usually find everything there from Blackjack chewing gum, to old time, hand carved (or mass produced in Nashville, Tennessee) front porch rocking chairs.

Yesterday, I went to our local Cracker Barrel for some country ham and fried okra, and low and behold, I found this:

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Your eyes are not deceiving you. That is, in fact, an edible UNO game made from Jelly Bellys. How freakin’ cool is that? I love UNO, and I love Jelly Belly. This is like a match made in heaven.

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I’m back . . .

Ok. So I took a year off. So sue me. This blog really isn’t about you, anyway, it’s about me. That’s right, I said it, it is about MOI (that’s a French word that is pronounced muah).

I only have, like 3 readers anyway, therefore I will post whenever and whatever I like. In the meantime, I have decided to come back and post semi-regularly.

Part of this decision was made on the basis of the fact that I really like this blog, and I thought to myself, “Self, what would this blog look like today, if you had in fact, kept it up all last year? Would it be chock full of awesome, original, neato content? Would you have more than three readers? Would you be proud of all the crazy cool tricks you learned to perform on the internet?”

This led to the two inevitable conclusions from questions such as these:

1.) If I want more than three friends than this blog must not be entirely about me . . .

2.) I use waaayyy too many commas.

Anyway, I am prepared to load this blog up with random goodies from my past, my present, and my future. I hope you enjoy the adventure.

I leave you with the following to think about:

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom Retrospective PART 2

When we last left Henry Jones Jr, he had just landed in India. The scary looking Shaman of the Indian village takes them in and introduces our heroes to the village.  Incidentally, the actor who played him was D.R. Nanayakkara.

D.R. did not speak any English. Steven Spielberg had to say his lines, and Nanayakkara had to mimic him.

The heroes enter into the village and are told about how their children have been stolen, along with a sacred rock that brings life to the village, and taken to Pankot Palace, where a new Maharaja is neck deep . . . in evil . . .

Indiana decides to go after the taken items, much to Willie’s chagrin.

It seems like just about everything in this movie is much to Willie’s chagrin.

I have to admit that although this movie sparks a nostalgic fire in my bosom that is timeless, and I certainly had a few thoughts about Kate Capshaw between this movie and Dreamscape, Willie’s character has not grown on me.

Originally, Sharon Stone was considered for the role. This was obviously well before her leg opening days in Basic Instinct. Willie might have been a very different character if Miss Stone had added her class to the role. . .

Oh, ummm. Nevermind . . .

Anyway, our heroes board elephants, and head off to Pankot.

Along the way Willie complains some more, Shorty bonds with an elephant, and Willie gets dumped into a mud puddle by hers.

Originally, there was a bath scene in the script, where Willie goes and bathes in the river and gets attacked by a snake. Kate Capshaw was not concerned about the nudity as much as she was about the snake.

Here is the excerpt from the script:

EXT. UPRIVER 

Thirty yards upstream, birds and monkeys chatter in a tree. In the shady river beneath, Willie surfaces cooly
and wipes hair from her eyes. She hums contentedly. Indiana wanders up the riverbank in his dripping trousers.
He notices Willie’s wet clothes spread over a tree limb hanging low over the water and then he sees Willie paddling around.

INDIANA 
Hey, Willie -- I think you better get out now.
 WILLIE 
Stark naked? You wish... If you're trying to seduce me, Dr. Jones, this is a very primitive approach.
 INDIANA 
 Me seduce you? Honey, you're the one who took your clothes off. 
(shrugging) 
I just came over to remind you that you 
never know what else might be in the water.  
WILLIE 
Somehow I feel safer in here.

As Indy turns and starts off, Willie reaches up to the tree branch above her head and grabs her underwear. At this moment we notice something awful: A BOA CONSTRICTOR is moving out along the branch, the enormous snake slithering over Willie’s clothes.

Willie watches Indiana walk away as she reaches up for her dress — her hands feel something strange — not the dress and not the tree limb — Willie looks up and sees that she’s pulling on a snake!

She SCREAMS as the boa constrictor falls off the tree on top of her! Indy hears the scream and hears Willie calling to him. He runs back toward the river. Stopping on the riverbank, he sees Willie backing away in the water — Indiana’s already starting to pull his boots off —

  WILLIE 
Indy! Help me!
 INDIANA 
Don't worry, I'm coming in! What is it?
 WILLIE 
A snake!

Suddenly Indiana freezes and a strange look crosses his face —

INDIANA 
 A what...?
 WILLIE  
A snake!! 

He finally sees the boa constrictor thrashing in the water close to Willie. He leaves his boots on.

WILLIE
(Cont'd)
 Hurry, help me out of here! What're you waiting for?!
 INDIANA 
Uh, listen -- Willie -- I got a better idea.
 WILLIE 
What?!
 INDIANA 
First of all -- don't panic!

Willie suddenly screams as the boa constrictor wraps around her arm —

 WILLIE 
 It's got me ! Indy, help me!

Indy runs along the riverbank, trying to get closer to her, but not about to jump into the river (due to his aversion to snakes — see Episode One: “Raiders of the Lost Ark”).

 INDIANA 
Don't let it pull you deeper!
  WILLIE 
It's pulling me deeper!  
INDIANA 
 Don't let it curl around you!
 WILLIE 
 It's curling around me! Stop talking and do something!

The snake is wrapping around her body and neck — her head is barely above water — On the riverbank, Indy reaches
down and grabs a piece of wood. But as he watches the repulsive reptile, he starts to sweat and his fear and loathing overpower him —

WILLIE
(Cont'd)
What's wrong?! Indy please help me!

Indy groans and bolsters his courage — he takes two steps into the water — but the complex is to strong and he can’t go any further. He drops the piece of wood…

 INDIANA 
 Listen, Willie. Do exactly what I tell you now.  
WILLIE 
What?!
  INDIANA 
Can you move your arm?
 WILLIE 
Just one arm!
 INDIANA 
Okay, I want you to lift your hand -- and pet the snake.
 WILLIE  
PET IT??!! 
  INDIANA 
Yes, stroke it right along the maxillary and precaudal vertebrae.  
WILLIE  
The what?!
   INDIANA 
Pet it on the head! Go on, pet it!

In the water, Willie is whimpering as she lifts her hand and starts petting the snake coiling around her pale body.

WILLIE 
Oh -- my -- god -- it's going to crush me!  
INDIANA 
Keep stroking it!

Willie keeps rubbing her hand along the snakes head and back and it slowly stops thrashing in the water.

INDIANA
(Cont'd)
 What's happening?
 WILLIE 
 It's starting to let go!
  INDIANA
  That's good -- you're doing fine.

Grimacing as she stares at the ugly serpent’s head, Willie keeps stroking it.

 WILLIE 
It's letting go. I think it's -- I think it's going to sleep!

Indiana looks relieved. He sees the snake starting to drift away from Willie and she starts paddling back to shore,
collecting her floating clothes along the way. Holding her dripping dress against herself, she walks out of the water
toward Indy who smiles at her weakly.

INDIANA 
See -- I got you out...

She slows and hauls off and punches him in the mouth. Indy holds his jaw as she walks away infuriates.

 WILLIE 
 Thanks for nothing! I hate snakes!  
INDIANA 
(looking at the water)
I know the feeling...

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

So you can see what might have been. Alas, instead Willie freaks out at the campsite while Shorty cheats at cards, which is an amusing scene, but I kind of like the bathing scene. And not just for the hubba hubba,


Alright. That’s enough Indy for tonight. Tomorrow we reach Pankot.

Sleep slight and try not to dream about Sharon Stone spitting in a bit clay pot.

3 Amazing Recipes From My Youth . . .

So it is the Fourth of July. Happy Independence Day. Holidays make me nostalgic for the carefree days of my youth.  We almost always were with family, where fifty or so kids would run around lobbing flaming flowers at each other and trying to brand each other with sparklers. In fact, I remember one year when a flaming flower was lobbed at my sister and caught in the back of her dress, turning her into a sort of human sparkler.

Good times.

So, in honor of the day where I used to attempt to blow my fingers off by holding firecrackers in my hand until the very last moment and then lobbing them high in the air until they blasted birds and squirrels out of the trees, I thought I would post a few recipes that made me happy as a kid.

I promise you, these recipes rock.

AMAZING CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES:

These cookies are awesome when gooey and hot , but in my never-to-be-humble opinion, they are even better the next day. I use Ghirardeli semi-sweet chips. Your taste buds will thank you.

1 cup Crisco

1 cup brown sugar

1/2 cup white sugar

2 eggs

2 tsp vanilla extract

2 1/4 cup flour with the 1/4 cup heaping

1 tsp salt

1 tsp baking soda

1 package of semi sweet chocolate chips

Cream Crisco and sugar.  Add eggs and vanilla and cream.  Add flour salt and baking soda in three portions, mixing after each.  Stir in chocolate chips.  Drop on the cookie sheet in small spoonfuls.

Bake at 375 for seven minutes. Do not over bake.

Hold up and shake five minutes, then put on cookie racks to cool.

 

THE BEST HOMEMADE ICE CREAM ON THE PLANET:

This homemade ice cream is fantastic, creamy, and rich. Sometimes I add fresh peaches or strawberries to the mix before freezing. It works well with chocolate and even Matcha.

4 Eggs

1 Cup Sugar

1 Tablespoon Vanilla

1/2 Pint Whipping Cream

2 Cans Eagle Brand Sweetened Condensed Milk

Whisk about a cup of milk, the sugar, and the Whipping Cream in a heavy sauce pan. Heat on medium for about seven minutes, then remove from heat. In another bowl, whisk the eggs. Pour a bit of the hot milk mixture into the eggs and whisk. Pour that mixture back into the sauce pan, and continue to whisk for one minute.

Add the Vanilla and condensed milk.

Chill for one hour.

Fill the rest of the ice cream maker with milk until the line.

Freeze with salt and ice.

 

HALLOWEEN SUGAR COOKIES:

Is it too early to be talking about these cookies? I don’t think so. You don’t have to make these only at Halloween.  However  in my book, it is never too early to be talking about Halloween. In fact, next week I’ll go to Michael’s and check out their new Spooky Town houses.

1/2 Cup Butter

1 Cup Sugar

1 Egg

1/2 Tsp. Salt

2 Tsps. Baking Powder

2 Cups Flour

1/2 Tsp. Vanilla

Cream sugar and butter. Blend egg. Add salt, baking powder, and flour. Blend in Vanilla. Chill for 2 hours. Roll out with more flour and use cookie cutters to shape.

Bake at 400 degrees for 8 to 10 minutes until golden.

Make a glaze from 3/4 cup Powdered Sugar and 3 to 4 tsp. Water. Add a few drops of almond extract and whatever food coloring you want.

Alright, so there you have it. Three very different recipes. All of them awesome. Enjoy! If you try any of them, leave me some feedback and let me know what you thought.

Be safe tonight, and don’t blow up any Bald Eagles.

FREE ICEE SAMPLES!!!

I walked into my neighborhood Target tonight, in search of the elusive LIME ICEE.

“What?” you ask. “You went to Target just to look for a lime Icee?”

You bet your sweet bippy I did! In the summer of 2004, the Olympics were held in Greece, Yellow Livestrong bracelets hung on the wrists of hipsters around the country, Usher sang his Confessions, people were still trying to get over what Janet Jackson showed them at the Superbowl, Paris Hilton had made a video, Catwoman showed the world why Halle Berry’s Oscar was a total fluke, and the legendary fall flu vaccination shortage was still months off.

The Lime Icee ruled supreme. Imagine tasting the flavor of green.

I know, I know, in a previous post I spoke of how green smelled, but this is how green tastes.

Alas, like the fleeting scent of Yankee Candle Green Grass, the delicious Lime Icee disappeared.

But last Friday, I was on a side of town that I never go to. I was late for an appointment, but I had to stop into Target for just one thing. As always, I had to look over to the Icee machines, just to see what fantastic flavors they had to offer.

You see, one thing you should know about me is that Icees are my vice, my pleasure. When I become wealthy enough, I will have an Icee machine in my basement. I loves me an Icee.

Anyway, my jaw dropped, my pulse quickened, my mouth was instantly filled with water. There it was: THE LIME ICEE! Unfortunately, I didn’t have time to grab one, but I made a mental note to go to the nearest Target at the next possible moment.

That moment was today.

Image my amazed surprise when I walked up to the counter and discovered: FREE ICEE SAMPLES!!!

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Are you freakin’ kidding me?!?! That’s awesome! Any of you ever seen anything like this, before? I mean, this is like Icee-lovers heaven mixed with Icee-lovers Nirvana.

There was one caveat: This particular Target only had Lemon Lime.

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Really?  Are you kidding me? Crap. I could hear Daryl Hall singing, “So close, but so far away.”

But hey, free Icee samples, right? The good thing was that the lady behind the counter was overly generous with the sample. I think she really didn’t care about selling the Icees. She knew just how cool her job was. She got to give people free freakin’ Icees!

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I had fully planned on purchasing an Icee, but after all the samples, I decided to save my money until I could get back to the other Target.

Here is what some of my samples looked like. The Lemon Lime is on the left.

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Tomorrow I’m going to the other Target. If they have free samples of Lime, my head just might freakin’ explode.